Where have all the piñatas gone?

Piñata Tuesday or Thursday is currently on shore leave, presumed drunk. We here at LWW would never leave port without it - because a voyage ain't a voyage without piñata to sing shanties to, drink rum with, and bugger - which leaves us at the mercy of the whims of piñata. With profuse apologies, followed by a prolonged period of uncomfortable silence while we wait for you to say 'I forgive you,' and then you don't, so we say 'maybe we should go,' and you say 'I think that's best,' and then it's all 'WTF? mate,' we contritely offer unto you the following gem in lieu of piñata:

This complaint is brought within a timely manner.

The next day, we send this over since you still aren't returning our calls:

[IMAGE WILL BE ADDED - BLAME BLOGGER]

The next step is to dig Reagan up and shoot him. You should really get back to us.